Monday, August 18, 2008

The Awkward Morning After with Paco and Cimorine

After being given permission to blog about this - because it's just so freakin' hilarious - the only stipulation given to me was that I change the names.*

So this is the story about a morning after ... with Paco* and Cimorine* as told to me by Cimorine.

Paco and Cimorine had been on two dates with a third in the future. Having just met two weeks ago at a community dinner and realizing they both went to the same college, Paco and Cimorine instantly hit it off. They talked for hours and at the end of the night, Paco drove Cimorine home. Right before she stepped out of the car, he worked up the courage to ask her out. She said yes.

The dates began to unfold - a movie, dinner, a botched trip to the zoo... because Paco had told Cimorine that her laugh was adorable and sounded like a dying giraffe so he wanted to "go in search of a dying giraffe" at the zoo. Sadly, it was closed.

One lone Thursday evening, Paco said good-bye to Cimorine because a journey to the beach with 15 of his friends was taking him to a far away place called Delaware for the weekend. He promised to return on Sunday to see her and indeed he did.

Cimorine left for Paco's place to meet the roommates for the first time late Sunday evening with home-made cookies in hand. After a few minutes of impressing them - Paco's roommates had mentioned he talked about Cimorine "at noisome" - they approved and Cimorine grew sleepy. She figured she would just stay the night and get up early with Paco the next morning so they both could leave for work together. It would be adorable and their first night together at his place.

The two crawled under the covers and let's just say snuggled.

The following morning, Cimorine woke-up to the sun shining through Paco's window. She yawned and stretched a big stretch and waited patiently for Paco to come out of the bathroom.

Paco did and as he was getting ready, he said, "Oh by the way, Cimorine, I think you left something in my car the night I drove you home."

"Oh?" Cimorine said, "I don't remember leaving anything." She began running through a list of things she had with her that night. "No, I have my wallet, have my keys..." she checked-off mentally.

"Yeah, but I think this is yours," Paco said and in her hand he dropped a neon yellow plastic keychain in the shape of an inch long penis.

Cimorine had gotten it at Tawanda's bachorette party a few weeks ago. Stammering, shuttering, the mortified Cimorine tried to explain. Paco just laughed.

"If I had a plastic vagina on my key ring and you found it, what would you have done?" Paco asked, thoroughly amused.

"I would have called you a creeper and never called you again!!!" Cimorine couldn't look Paco in the eye.

"I knew there would be a double standard."


Erin said...

Please tell me you actually have a friend named Paco. That would make my day.

Jess said...


I like the names you chose for them by the way!

Lauren Effron said...

In spanish class in high school, our teacher made us choose spanish names and we had to use them instead of our real names. My good friend Donnie chose the name Paco (I was Cecilia, Tad was Jorge, in case you were wondering), but that's where I thought of that name. It just cracks me up.

Thanks guys!

Erin said...

Haha we had to do the same thing in French class--mine was Elisabeth (boring!) but my friend Tim's was Timotail and hence I've called him that since middle school. :P

Brandon said...

Mine was Brandon

Lauren Effron said...

big surprise.