On lazy weekends when there's nothing better to do but sit in front of the TV, Tad and I sometimes find ourselves shamelessly watching "The Girls Next Door." It's hard to tear away from the lavish trips to Monte Carlo, the annoying laughter, the gorgeous wardrobes, the love poured over strange dogs that look like cats and the deranged cats that look like dogs...well those are my reasons anyway.
Also - their marathons are on ALL the time.
But seriously, Hef's three girlfriends - Holly, Bridget and Kendra - have it all: smoking hot looks (they are bunnies after all), a super rich, older boyfriend (that they "share" - ew, but the sky's the limit with stuff he can give them if you like stuff), a gorgeous mansion, multiple copies of blonde BFFs... and on it goes...and all they have to do is look good all the time.
Morals aside -on the surface, it looks like an amazing way to live. After the second episode, I sighed...
Me: "Maybe I should dye my hair blonde."
Tad: "You can do whatever you want, honey."
Me: "What! They're hot!"
Me: "I'm not going to be that hot though."
Tad: "No, you're just not slutty... but anyway I'm making it a life goal to be invited to the Playboy mansion someday."
Me: "How do you get invited?"
We looked it up - girls send in photos of themselves to Hef and if Hef likes them, then he sends them an invite. Or you have friends on the inside sneak you in. You can bring guys if they're related to you - like your brother, obviously Hef doesn't want married women at his parties.
Interesting. So let's take this one step further, just because I like fishing for stories. What's the application process?
After many searches, I came up with no forms or addresses or contacts, but I did find out that Playboy is looking to hire a Sr. legal assistant and a project cordinator in New York City, in case anyone is interested.
Then, out of nowhere, I stumbled across the bunny salary.
Playboy bunnies make a whopping $25,000/year unless you're "Bunny of the Year" then it's a salary boost up to $100,000/year. Does that include dental?
I smailed at Tad and felt fully satisfied in knowing my brain brings in the bacon much more than posing naked ever would - if I had the moral-less courage to do it to begin with, which I DO NOT. But still, it's nice to know I have more things going for me just being a conservatively-dressed person.
Another thing that made me feel good... apparently the three hosts of Girls Next Door aren't so hot anymore - in the opening for the new season, a reporter asks the girls, "Will you ever pose for the magazine again?" and Holly responds, "Well, we'd like to, but no one will ask us."
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