Monday, October 13, 2008

Facebook Stalking The Ex's

It doesn't matter if you've just got back out on the dating scene or been married for 20+ years. If you have a Facebook account, you have "stalked" an ex-boy/girlfriend, summer fling or random x person you may or may not have made out with at Cornerstone.

I'm guilty of it. You probably are too.

Why do we do this? Maybe it's to see if your former significant other is now fat or in jail. Maybe it's because you miss them and just want to check in and make sure they're miserable too. Maybe it's out of boredom or you just happened to see their face while friend-jumping from profile to profile.

I don't go seeking out my ex-boyfriends on Facebook - or at all for that matter - sometimes it just happens that I'll catch one of them tagged in a picture and think, "oh god, you know so-and-so too?" or I'll hear snippets of their lives at parties and get curious.

From high school to college, I have three ex's: a high school lacrosse/football player who thought about medical school, a Maryland state student council president who thought Ehrlich was God and an aero-space engineering major who had design grants from the U.S. military.

Two of them went to UMBC. Two of them had a five-year plans to marry me. Two got dumped. One dumped me, but I was ready to end it anyway. One wore bow ties to everything. One wanted to constantly take my picture. All three were no more than two years older than me. All three gave me heart pendants for Christmas ("I-Own-You" necklaces as my former roommate dubbed them). All three were very intense individuals and there are multiple, painful reasons why they and I didn't work out. And why we're all much better off.

In seeing one tagged in a photo of another friend of mine, one thing led to another and here's what I found out...

Player - His profile is blocked, but judging by a sloppy drunken profile photo of him playing air-guitar, I guess he's doing well for himself.

President - Got accepted at a law school in Baltimore, so I suppose he's continuing his stern campaign of how he must attend Maryland schools to support Maryland education and Maryland education only.

Engineer - Engaged to a Towson alum. Glad to see his five-year plan worked out for him after all, just equally glad to see it was not with me.

My search is not to be misconstrued as pining - far from it, for I have an amazing life with Tad and wouldn't trade it for anything - it's the same curiosity that led me to catch up with friends from camp or elementary school through Facebook.

But this opens up a new question - have the ex's been FB stalking me? And if they have, I'm not fat, in jail, or miserable so they're probably disappointed.


Jess said...

hahaha this post cracks me up...i do the same thing all the time...i'm like ohhh so and so was tagged....yea you know i'm stalking that album haha

Lauren Effron said...

I'm glad you liked it! It's funny because I've already had two other people email me and say, "yeah, guilty as charged." :)

Brandon said...

I totally relate to this post. I stalk your ex-boyfriends too.

Disa said...

i am guilty of stalking current boyfriend's(now fiance's) exes. my friend 'the enabler' told me it's not stalking, it's 'research'/