Sunday, September 27, 2009

New insights

What if you were to ask someone what they thought of you? What they thought about your personality, your quips, your pet peeves... and what sort of relationship would you have to have with this person in order to get an honest answer? Your mother? Best friend?

How about an ex.

For those of you who read my bagged salad post from last Monday, you know I have a subscription to Vogue (It's certainly not Tad's or Roberto's). I signed on to receiving this lofty magazine every month for two reasons: 1.) I like to see seasonal fashion trends, for an appearance sense, NOT a label sense, and 2.) I would have probably signed up for Cigar Connoisseur if it was offered to me at $18 for 40 issues. Now that I'm deep into said subscription and long ago realized the fashion had to be way over my head for me to "get it" and think anyone would buy that, I just read it for the articles now. Seriously.

From time to time the commentary and subject matter infuriate me. I'll never get over the issue from a few months back during the heat of the economic crisis that ran an op-ed from a woman, who would have just DIED if she wasn't wearing at least Chanel, Gucci and Oscar all at once, but was laid off. She continued to struggle for weeks without being able to buy that new Vera Wang shirt or Dior belt, but then landed an op-ed piece prospect from Vogue and and a few other free lance writing gigs and bought herself a $1,200 snake ring to celebrate. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Really, Vogue? That was the best insider's view to how the mighty have fallen you could find?

But in the recent October issue, there was an article I read all the way though. While researching for writing his memoir, this author called up a number of ex-girlfriends and took them out to lunch to get a clear, honest opinion of what kind of a man he was in different stages of his life in order to be true to the book.

Now, I've heard about honest self-reflection but... whoa.

We've all been on the other side -- hating and loving and reflecting on past relationships -- I've even blogged about ex-boyfriends before, but never did it occur to me to think about what they thought how I acted or what kind of person I might have been back when given boyfriend and I were dating. It really struck me as an unique exercise. Unique... and terrifying.

Would I ever do this? My answer is immediately absolutely not. I have no need to open those doors I slammed shut so long ago, also, I would be too scared, to be honest with you, but this article did make stop and think for a while how I have evolved, how past relationships may have shaped me. Can't be all bad.

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