Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Random rants too small for individual posts

OLYMPICS: I'm really getting into the Olympic skiing events. Incredible, aren't they? I can barely twist in midair off a diving board, let alone backflip off an icy jump going 90 mph on skis! I wonder how they train for the mogul events. My theory is they start on a trampoline first and then someone just pushes them out of a chair lift a couple hundred times so they get the feel for it.

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PEOPLE: Dear girls in the office wearing short sleeve shirts in winter,

What the hell is the matter with you? Are you out of your mind? You expect me to believe that while I'm bringing in extra sweaters to put over my first sweater in this ice box of a shared office space that you are comfortable strutting around in a t-shirt? It's fricken' -8 degree outside!!! Not 80 degrees!!! As I sit here in my high-heeled, pointy-toed boots, I'm all about understanding the sacrifice of comfort for cute, but COME ON! It's WINTER TIME! It's okay to cover those pasty arms until spring. Everyone will understand.

Love, Lauren

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TECHNOLOGY: Have you gone back through who you're following on Twitter lately? You might surprise yourself how many useless people you've been mindlessly following since the time when Twitter was shiny and new and you went Follow button crazy.

I hadn't really thought about it until last night when I noticed that TomCruise was really starting to get on my nerves with his "@Somebody Thanks!" "@SomebodyElse Huh? Thanks!" tweets. UnFollow. Then I started going through the list and I'm ashamed to admit I had a lot to unfollow, including the entire cast of fake FRIENDS profiles, some other TV show, country artists that only talked about their upcoming tours, ABCNewsNews, the list continues. Ah, Twitter detox. I kept a few... let's say "junk food" feeds... just for my personal enjoyment *cough* LadyGaga *cough*.

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MORE TECHNOLOGY: I once had a friend tell me that people in her office like to have competitions to see who can 1-Up one another.

I feel technology is now doing the same 1-Up game. Just as I was getting to know about FourSquare.com, a Twitter-esqe support site that lets you Google map where you are so people can find you (or avoid you, as the case may be), here comes along "PleaseRobMe.com" blowing up on everyone's tech blog. "PleaseRobMe.com" points out how stupid FourSquare is because duh, if you're at the coffee shop down the street, chances are your house is empty and willing.

Oh, the hilarity. I'm reminded of the Monty Python skit about an old lady who thinks she has new neighbors...
*Knock, knock, knock*
Old lady: "Who is it?"
Two men coming to rob her house: "It's the robbers!"
Old lady: "Oh! By all means! Come in!"

1 comment:

Andrea @ CanYouStayForDinner.com said...

This post is hilarious!! So true on so many levels. I like the technology rants because I've thought the same thing. What the hell is wrong with me?